Demo review: Daybreak – Hope has Died (revised version) and
Still Awake
Written by Ryan Nolan, The Music Directory's production
expert.
Well done for taking on board a lot of my previous comments on
“Hope Has Died”, I think they have worked well. The
song is more succinct and makes the right dynamic movements, but
I still feel the intro is too long and that in parts the drums are
overcomplicated making things seem a little messy. The track is
yours though and you must do what you feel is right. Also, due to
the length of the solo I think you should be kicking straight into
the verse after it ends rather than repeating most of the intro.
I really like the outro now too. It feels more together and actually
part of the song. It was definitely worth the wait! The final advice
from me would be for you guys to take it to a real good quality
sound engineer, who has a studio or a mobile rig, and have him…or
her re-record it in a great sounding and relaxing environment that
can get the best out of you guys.
Still Awake
Now then, Still Awake! Again this song has a lot of potential but
again it is the fundamentals that need improving to bring it up
to where it belongs. Timing and tightness are key to getting any
song to sound great and if you guys spend the time working on that
it really will give you a massive advantage over your competitors.
What struck me first about this song is the slightly different style
of vocal used, more rap-like than Hope Has Died. This is not a bad
thing but when rapping you must be ultra tight otherwise you will
sound like you are always playing catch up with the drums. Unfortunately
this is happening here. A simple way to help correct this is to
look carefully at the words you are using and decide whether they
all need to be in there to get the message across. This’ll
give you more time to deliver the lyrics.
Remember, keep intro’s short. Does it really need to be 37
seconds long? That’s longer than some songs! A lot happens
in it that you then repeat later in the song. Don’t waste
all the good bits in the intro. For me you could have played the
8 second intro (currently marked by the end of a drum roll) and
then break straight into the verse with vocals, then chorus, then
drop the part of the existing verse that has no vocals (only use
half of it’s length)as a bridge between chorus and verse.
Basically, the song needs to be more concise with all of the punch
that I know you are capable of. A song doesn’t have to be
a specific length, so don’t be frightened of it being too
short!
I really, really enjoyed the part of the song that occurs after
the solo. The guitar parts being used sound great, the vocals sound
awesome and it’s nice the way it cuts out to end. You are
tighter in the latter part of the song too and this makes it feel
more professional.
I would like to hear this track again but with a shorter intro (I
really mean it!!), hit me with a punchy but short intro followed
by the verse bringing the vocals in as soon as possible. Then, a
big chorus followed by a bridge altering the instrumentation slightly
for the second verse being careful to keep the picked guitar both
in tune and in time (remember always play to a metronome if you
can, it might not sound cool when telling your groupies about the
songwriting process but you’ll thank me for it…)
Once you have re-recorded Still Awake with the changes send it to
me. In the meantime keep practicing Still Awake and Hope Has Died
until you know them in your sleep then ask the Music Directory to
recommend an engineer that can record in your area.
Alright guys, you’ve got some work to do so drop out of school
or quit your jobs and get to it! To quote Kiss “There’s
always time to work 9 to 5!”
RN
Listen to Hope
has died (revised version)
Listen
to Still Awake
Click
here to check out the band for yourself
Want us to critique your music? Let us know!
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