Demo review: Daybreak – Hope has Died
Written by Ryan Nolan, The Music Directory's production
expert.
All I can start by saying is that you guys have got a lot of potential
and with some more work on the rudimentary skills you’ll get
very, very good.
The intro is good using a pretty standard technique which there
is absolutely nothing wrong with, but, it is perhaps a little too
long. Remember that when you send this to a record company they
may only listen to the first 20 seconds of the track. You need to
make these first 20 seconds really count. Play your intro (the chorus
riff in your case) and get into a strong verse as quickly as possible.
The verse sections musically are good and interesting but a little
more work is needed on strengthening the vocal melody. It is too
“samey” throughout the song. The Beastie Boys may or
may not be your thing but getting some ideas from the album “Ill
Communication” for the vocals would go down a treat on this
track.
The chorus kicks in nicely and the riff is powerful, I’d recommend
trying to change the dynamic on the hi-hats from verse to chorus
though. Close them up in the verse and then open them up in the
chorus; it’ll make the chorus really punch through. In a later
verse for example you go to the ride and that worked really well.
While I am talking about the drums I should mention that keeping
it simple is really important. Overcomplicating the drums can make
the drum track, and consequently the song, sound messy; so strip
them right back!
The chorus vocals are interesting and it is a good lyric but perhaps
don’t emphasize the “died” the same way each time.
Variety is the spice of life after all!
On the outro you start changing the way you pronounce it and that
works really well so introduce this idea a little sooner.
As a guitar player I found the solo pretty cool in a sloppy, Stooges
kind of way. It breaks well into another verse. The musical choices
in the outro are also good.
So now back to the rudimentary skills I was talking about. I think
you guys need to practice with a metronome to help tighten you all
up to a professional level. I know it’s a pain to set one
up and an even bigger pain to play along with, but believe me in
6 months when you’re selling out your local venue in record
time you’ll be thanking me.
Finally you need to study the actual composition of other songs
in terms of structure: how many verses and chorus does a song have?
How long should the outro be? In my opinion this song would have
been kicking mutha funkin’ ass had it been around 2 minutes.
The tempo is great and it has all the components, it just needs
honed down to: a 5-10 second Intro, Verse, Chorus, Verse, Chorus,
Solo, ½ Verse, ½ Chorus and Outro. Please do it and
let me hear it again soon, I am rubbing my hands in anticipation!
RN
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